Memo from the Surf Desk: Six One & Shameless

They usually look like a sunflower seed. Always a little taller than I am. You see so many of them - these soulless surf boards. Sold to someone that wants to surf a swell we rarely see. Someone that wants to look the part. Play make-believe. All lip and no trousers. The result of reading Surfer magazine, or perhaps watching too many Red Bull meets GoPro videos on YouTube. Then reality sets in...

You see him struggle, arm over arm, hopelessly trying to catch a wave. “It’s not big enough!” the poor bastard screams. He'd rather Huntington hop than walk to the nose. Six one and shameless. Three fins and a squash tail. Ingredients that won’t work well. Not here. Not when it’s waist high. I’m not saying they don’t have their place. Shit, I own one. But what good is it to struggle. All day and no waves. On the inside, looking for leftovers. You see it so often. Sad surfers chasing wet dreams. Just buy a bigger board and surf smaller waves. But remember, save for the stache, you're no Derek Ho!

Sincerely,

Duke Dangerpants