Minivans Make Sense

I've had a lot of cars. Thirty one to be exact. Everything from Alfa Romeos and MG roadsters to big ass Jeeps and BMWs. I guess I have a short attention span. I'm usually bored before I transfer the title. But now, since selling my Grand Cherokee, I'm without an automobile. Well, I have the Subaru, but this is the first time since I was sixteen that I don't have a second car. Some piece of shit that runs when it wants to. Something fun to drive, but forever in need. So now we're in search of a new surf wagon. Something we can sleep in. Something that can carry us to the ocean and Karissa to her office in Everett.


This is one of the many Jeeps I've owned. An '89 Cherokee that took us to and from the coast, into the mountains and underwater. It was a reasonable rig. We could sleep in it, albeit uncomfortably. It ran well, most of the time. But the bitch burned a lot of petrol. And smelled like mud and carbon monoxide.

I bought an Isuzu Trooper in 2007. Karissa and I drove it from Seattle to Southern California. We surfed, saw friends and slept in hospital parking lots before returning to the northwest two weeks later. It was a great rig, really. Reasonable fuel economy, lots of room, but it had a tick... a bad one. And she was slow as shit. So I sold it and bought what would be the first of many Volvo station wagons.

This was our third Volvo, a 1990 240 that I bought from Mr.McLaughlin. Belonged to his mother. Had been siting since 2009. So we fixed her up. New tires, timing belt, all that shit. We slept in the back most of the summer. Plenty of room for the two of us. Great on gas. No complaints. And then disaster struck.

Some silly bitch, in a hurry to buy booze, cut in front of Karissa on our way home. With no room to react, we collided with her crappy Bavarian coupe. The young lady was both uninsured and driving without a license. Long story short, we replaced the Volvo with this, a 1999 Subaru Legacy Outback Limited.

But now we're ready for something new. Something bigger. Something we can sleep in. So what's the solution? A minivan! Maybe an '07 Sienna with the 260hp 3.5-liter V6, or a Mazda 5 and it's fuel efficient four cylinder. Whichever. The thing is, I can't think of another automobile that will do all of the things we need it to. Suburbans are too big, Econolines are creepy and Type 2s are for trustafarians. So a minivan makes sense. Size and stealth. Fuel efficiency and folding rear seats. Sounds good to me.

Still don't buy all this minivan business? Check out this article by Rob Gilley, an 'Ode to the Man Van.'