The Fine Art of Pig Fuckin'

Surfing swine is a lot like swinging a baseball bat with all those extra weights at the end. It's overkill of course. A warm up before your big at bat. But it's something that'll sharpen your skills and strengthen your style. So when you pick up a smaller stick, it'll feel like everything's a little easier. The rotation. The recovery. You'll come back from the bottom faster than before. You'll pull into the pocket and dart down the line. High and tight. Ready to tiptoe towards the nose.

Your exits will also improve. Because a proper Pig - ten foot and Feral - well, they're unwilling to go under. Like a sailor with those two tattoos. Steadfast. So you hold on to your hog real tight. Ride it out. Surf that shit. You'll also learn to let go, to wait for the right wave and not try to sneak into the candy store shortly before it closes. Patience young pig fucker, patience. Save yourself a swim.

Some people say pig fuckin' is like porntipsguzzardo. That all the extra weight lets you catch waves like a canoe. But with them big hips and that big fin, it ain't easy to turn, to control. It's a lot to love, you know? Hard to handle. But if you can get comfortable with the size of your swine, you'll start to develop a different sorta style. Active. Upright. Maybe a bit more balanced. And then, when the next waist-high waterhill wanders your way, you'll know how to throw that thing around, how to run all the way out and stand on its snout. Because nothing slides like swine.